Occasionally I have stories to tell. Like right now, for instance. My crazy-ass sister-in-law Nancy, her so-called husband Banana Nostrils (they were "married" on a beach by an actor amongst a pack of leaping dogs), and their gang of l'il translucent children descended on our house for Christmas.
Oh, I've got pages of notes about the whole sad affair, and no outlet through which to purge the poison from my system. A friend suggested a "blog," but that sounded mighty gay to me. Mighty gay. After all, Bill Oates is a man, not some typing dandy, sitting around hitting the shift key with his pinky, that gayest of all digits.
But I had to admit that it made some sense. I could write it out, a little here and a little there, and others could read it, and maybe we could all share in the pain. You know, in a strictly heterosexual way.
So that's what I'm going to do. Against my better judgment I started this so-called blog to write about Nancy's latest visit, and whatever else might pop into my head along the way. It'll probably be updated in fits and starts, possibly more than once a day in some instances, then not at all for several days in a row.
Because Bill Oates is a very busy man.
12 comments:
Welcome to the world of Internets writing, Bill Oates. We await your sage scribblings.
Glad to see you got it going, Bill! Good luck with it. I'll be tuning in often.
Your Nancy sounds like Jeff Kay's Nancy. SoundI think you guys should have a Nancy "off". Bill welcome to the wonderful world of Blogs. Since Jeff mentioned your page there will be a flock of strange people coming to read you. No pressure now...
Yours in Christ.
Father Bob
The pinky being, usually, the one "in the stink," as it were, I would have to concur that it is way gay.
The index and middle fingers being "in the pink," they are totally hetero.
Anal sex with broads is just one small step from anal sex with dudes, which is one small step from helping Mary Cheney achieve motherhood.
Heaven forfend.
ya got the day right but if it is 11:45 am I am late for a boy scout meeting.
Father Bob
It is 2:45 pm.
He's on Pacific time, you fools! PACIFIC! BY THE DAMNABLE OCEAN!
I hear it's nice there.
Free at last, free at last! The eninen stories are free at last!
Sounding very familiar... and I like it.
Looking forward to the writings!
oh a pseudonym!
I want this to be a pseudonym
(for Jeff Kay)
.. a secret site
.. he tells no one he knows about.
Where he can stop editing what he really wants to write.
Blogger is so perfect for this!
Nancy & Nostrils! Yay!
Hey, B.O.! I am excited to read your stuff. I also happen to be a freelance humor columnist that isn't funny anymore - drop me a line if you need me.
metten
Cool. I always need more stories to read on night run.
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